Alpha Omega Elite. Supergate II. Superyard XT.
What do these names bring to mind?
A : Some futuristic device?
Or
B : Safety products for children?
If you guessed “A”, you’d be wrong.
The Alpha Omega Elite appears to be some form of restraint system for use with small children. We have no idea why it’s called this. I would, however, purchase this if someone said “You too can protect your childw ith the Alpha Omega Elite”. I wouldn’t even ask what it did, I’d buy it. Is there a regular Alpha Omega? If there were, I wouldn’t want to buy it if the “Elite” version was out there.
Next we have the “Supergate III”. We couldn’t find Supergates I and II, so we assume they were total failures. But Supergate III must be good… right? What does it do? Does it keep Superman in? Or out? Does that mean it’s made of Kryponite? I don’t think’d want my kids exposed to that…
And to round out the triumverate of awesomely named children’s restraints we have:
Now, the Superyard XT (We assume the “XT” stands for “Xtrememly Terrifying”). It appears to be a playpen of some sort, but why is it “Super”? Does it contain the Superfriends? Does it make your yard award winning? And why the XT? The box itself brings up many questins, I wonder what it’d be like to set up.
Anyone have any other awesomely named products to share? If so send them our way!
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